Mormon Funerals

The day after I was called to be a Bishop, I went down to Mr. Mac's in American Fork and my wife helped me choose a dark suit that would be appropriate for conducting a funeral. I have now served as Bishop long enough to conduct several funerals. My responsibilities are typically to visit with family members ahead of time to finalize the program and make sure the details are all taken care of for both the funeral and the customary open casket viewing the night before. Sometimes I have to coordinate the building schedule. I generally ask our ward music chair to arrange for a chorister and organist.  The Relief Society will usually have met with the family before me, and the sisters are terrific - well organized, more experienced than I am, and wonderfully compassionate. I preside at the private gathering where family members have a few moments alone with the body of the deceased before the funeral directors close the casket. A family member usually offers a family prayer. I then precede the family into the chapel, and as I take my place on the stand the audience quiets down. As the casket followed by family members enters the chapel, I ask the audience to rise. When everyone is in place, I ask the audience to be seated. I then conduct the service which generally follows an outline printed in the funeral program. Typically after my welcome, we have an opening congregational hymn and prayer followed by a life sketch and speakers alternating with special musical numbers. I get the last word unless a member of the  Stake Presidency is in attendance and wishes to exercise his right to be the final speaker. If the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been well-preached in the service, I limit my remarks to some personal insights into the personality and character of the deceased and bear my testimony. If the Gospel has been conspicuous by its absence during the service, I explain the plan of salvation before honoring the deceased and bearing my testimony.
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I really enjoyed Orville Gunther's funeral in our meetinghouse in January, 2007. Pres. Thomas S. Monson arrived late due to a busy schedule. He was First Counselor in the First Presidency at the time, so as the presiding authority, he was the final speaker. He hustled out of the chapel as soon as his talk was finished, on to another meeting. A chorus of Pres. Gunther's missionaries from the South German Mission sang "Called to Serve" in German. It was a splendid meeting.
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After the service in the chapel, I ask the audience to rise and the casket bearers to take their place by the funeral door. I then preside again at the graveside service where a family member performs the Melchizedek Priesthood ordinance of dedicating the grave. I visit with family members until I sense that the cemetery gathering is breaking up, at which time I text the Relief Society sisters working in the kitchen at the ward meetinghouse that the family is on their way. Generally, dozens to hundreds of family members (we try to estimate this pretty carefully, but we are often surprised) gather in the meetinghouse cultural hall for a luncheon that turns into a large, impromptu family reunion. Again, I conduct the meeting, welcome family members, thank the Relief Society for setting up the hall and providing the food, call on a family member to offer a blessing on the food, etc. While folks are filling their plates, eating or visiting, people come up to the microphone and tell story after story about the deceased, many of them quite hilarious. I am usually one of the last to go through the food line. The Relief Society Compassionate Service Committee seems to enjoy feeding the Bishop and I certainly don't object - they are very good cooks. As the improvised family reunion is about to break up, I start putting away the tables and chairs. Active Latter-day Saint family members invariably come and help - they know the drill. Family members who are less active or not of our faith usually stand around slightly bewildered, not quite sure what to make of this do-it-yourself janitorial work going on around them. By this time, one or two of the husbands of the Relief Society sisters has usually arrived and they help clean the cultural hall (we dry mop the hardwood basketball floor after every meal event), take the trash out to the dumpster, lock up, etc. When I am satisfied that everything is under control, I visit with a member of the Relief Society Presidency about needy families in the ward who could use the leftover funeral food and then I go home or return to work. Obviously, out of town burials complicate the logistics.
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Some general observations about Mormon funerals:

• Few people wear black. Widows do not wear a mourning veil. The mood is generally somber, dignified, but joyous. We honor and celebrate the life of the deceased. There is a lot of talk about happy reunions on the other side. 
• Hundreds of people often file past the family members at the viewing. Far fewer generally attend the funeral service itself.
• Humor is ubiquitous as people recount good times, personality quirks, embarrassing moments, etc. 
• Earth burial is preferred, cremation is allowed. 
• Active Latter-day Saint families tend to prefer viewings and funerals in the ward meetinghouse. Other families often feel more comfortable in a mortuary chapel. Families can consider a broader range of music, for example, if the event is held in a mortuary. The Church publishes guidelines about music and instruments (no brass or percussion, for instance - Mormons don't do praise bands) appropriate to maintain dignity in an LDS chapel. The luncheon is almost always in the meetinghouse.
• Rudy Giuliani's famous couplet "weddings are optional, funerals are mandatory" pretty much holds true in Mormon culture. Funerals trump all other events on a meetinghouse schedule.
• Endowed members are buried in Temple ceremonial clothing. The Temple theme of eternal families is prominent.
• Family members who hold Temple recommends can perform Temple ordinances for their deceased loved ones one year after death. Funerals tend to be wake up calls for family backsliders who have never been through the Temple, or who are not currently Temple worthy.    

Labyrinth Canyon

On August 17, 2011 10 of us left our meetinghouse at 7:00 a.m. in 2 vehicles towing 6 canoes. About 3 hours later, we began unloading our gear at Green River State Park on the southern edge of Green River, Utah. After some last minute shopping and paperwork, we had lunch and put in the river. First stop was Crystal Geyser about four miles downriver. The river was running about 5,500 cubic feet per second, down considerably from its high water mark a month or so earlier. Our first camp site was just above Ruby Ranch near the confluence of the San Rafael with the Green. The mud was so thick as we piled out of our canoes that we all sunk in up to our thighs and had our boat shoes sucked off our feet as we labored to extricate ourselves onto dry ground. After a hearty supper, we entertained ourselves watching or playing a game of old sow.  My brand new REI half dome 2+ tent and Thermarest sleeping system worked flawlessly and I got a good night's sleep for the first time in three tries accompanying the youth of our ward on their outdoor adventures.
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On August 18, we entered Labyrinth Canyon with red sandstone cliffs rising hundreds of feet on either side of the river. It felt like I was paddling through Capitol Reef or Canyonlands National Parks with spectacular scenery unfolding around every bend. My favorite spots were the shady areas where the shear canyon walls blocked the sunlight until late morning. Late in the afternoon, a thunderstorm and sand storm forced us to bivouac for an hour on a sand wash. We took out at Hey Joe Mine and ran the gauntlet through mosquito infested riverbanks to camp on a hillside about 200 feet above the river. As we all zipped up our tents for the night, we entrapped hundreds of mosquitoes and spent the next 30 minutes hunting them down with flashlights and killing them. I finally eliminated the mosquitoes inside my tent, but I had the rain fly up so I had to endure the buzzing sound all night from the dozens of mosquitoes that took up residence in the small air space between the rain fly and the tent proper. The stars in the night sky were splendid and the view from the camping toilet would impress even a South Korean. (South Korea is famous for public restrooms in scenic settings with impressive views.)
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On August 19 we paddled furiously through bow know bend so we could have some time in the afternoon to lash the canoes together and simply float or play in the water. I floated with just my life jacket for about 2 glorious miles before clambering aboard my canoe again for the take out at Mineral Bottom. We were met by ward members who cooked a steak dinner for us and we valiantly fought off the mosquitoes since all of us had long since run out of insect repellent. Most of the group huddled in a tent to keep the biting critters at bay while 2 drivers returned to Green River State Park and shuttled the 2 original vehicles back to pick us up. With pesky insects spurring us on, we loaded up the canoes and all of our gear in record time and made it back to Green River State Park before midnight. With green grass, showers, shade trees and relatively few bugs, our overnight in the Park seemed positively luxurious. After another wonderful breakfast and a stopover in Price for gas and shakes, we were back home in American Fork by about 1:30 p.m.
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Bishops go on outings with the youth to develop a rapport that is hard to achieve in any other way. I had many chances to visit with our young men individually and in groups. We talked about school, jobs, sports, girls, cars, missions, video games, their families, why God created mosquitoes, etc. When I gave an evening fireside chat about the requirements to get a temple recommend, I had their complete and undivided attention and they asked some excellent questions. That was the highlight of the trip for me - time with the youth and their leaders. The magnificent southern Utah red rock canyon scenery was a bonus. Other impressions:

• It takes a lot of paddling to go 66 river miles in 3 days. Floating, we only averaged 1.9 miles per hour.
• Paddling a 2 man canoe efficiently takes real teamwork.
• Squishing an engorged mosquito spatters blood on your tent.
• 100% DEET doesn't provide protection nearly as long as it promises on the label.
• Dozens of turkey vultures huddled on a sandbar is quite a sight.
• Denis Julien left his French graffito on the Labyrinth Canyon walls in May, 1836. I would like to know more about the man and his travels.
• The 1869 John Wesley Powell expedition still casts a long shadow over these Colorado Plateau waterways.
• When the mosquitoes are so thick that you inhale one in each nostril, it is hard to breathe, so you gulp air and get several inside your mouth. At that point, you are not sure whether to spit first or blow your nose. 
• Sea kayaks are much faster than canoes on a river like the Green, and they can paddle upstream, but they can't carry much gear. A hybrid kayak/canoe expedition would be great fun.
• I kept imagining a canoe outfitted with solar panels, a deep cycle marine battery, and an electric boat motor. 

2,100 Miles and 3 Minutes

On Saturday, August 6, our newest grandson was blessed in San Antonio, Texas. He was born in Boston a month earlier and my wife spent a week there taking care of the newborn, his mother, and the other family members. When it came time for the blessing, though, it was my turn to travel because a baby blessing is a Melchizedek Priesthood ordinance. I caught a 5:00 p.m. Friday flight to San Antonio and a few hours later held my grandson for the first time in a motel lobby. Family members continued gathering that night and the following morning. By 10:45 a.m. on Saturday we had all the right people assembled at the Stone Oak Chapel on the north side of San Antonio. Some 8-year-old youths were baptized and confirmed, and then the family convened for the baby blessing. My son gave a splendid blessing that lasted perhaps 3 minutes. I was part of the circle with  my right hand holding the baby up and my left hand on my son's shoulder. The baby's maternal grandfather was also in the circle along with various other adult male family members. After some photographs and pleasantries, I hustled out of the meetinghouse and headed back to the airport to catch a return flight. I landed in Salt Lake with my suit and tie still on and my wife whisked me back to American Fork so I could attend a ward member's wedding. Rudy Giuliani taught us in his excellent book Leadership that weddings are optional, but funerals are mandatory. Nevertheless, in LDS culture weddings are very important and most Bishops go out of their way to be there for their ward members.
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Summation of my trip:

• duration - 23 hours
• miles traveled - 2,100
• cost - $800 and change

All that for a 3 minute priesthood ordinance. One of our wonderful Mormon children's songs is entitled "Families Can Be Together Forever". I believe it and I consider the effort required to participate in my grandchildren's priesthood ordinances a small investment that will yield sizable returns.

REI

After we were married in the Salt Lake Temple in 1976, my wife and I honeymooned in the California Redwoods. Early in that trip, we stopped at the REI store near Berkeley and purchased some great camping gear, including a matched pair of down mummy bags that are still in good shape today, except that we have lost one of the stuff sacks. In my college days, I ran around with friends who bore testimonies of The Book of Mormon and Kelty packs. Among that crowd, a visit to an REI store (there were very few of them in those days) was almost a quasi-religious experience.
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During the intervening years, my wife and I haven't done much camping. We are more inclined toward books, international travel and the fine arts. I have shopped at REI a time or two, but for the most part I considered the outdoor adventure phase of my life pretty much over. Then I was called as a Bishop.
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One of my major responsibilities is to shepherd the youth of our ward. It is not enough to just see them at Church on Sunday. I need to be with them on activities. The reason the LDS Church is such a strong supporter of the Boy Scouts of America is because a young man in extreme circumstances - rappelling down a cliff, say, or midway through a fifty mile hike, can often feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost. The outdoor adventure part of scouting offers Church leaders a wonderful environment for influencing boys. (I am chagrined to admit that even after more than fifty years as an active Mormon, I had to go to Woodbadge to finally learn this fundamental concept.) So, as a Bishop responsible for guiding dozens of young people, I need to spend quite a bit of time in the next few years hiking, camping, backpacking, canoeing, etc. After decades of neglect, I lacked most of the gear one needs to sleep, cook, hydrate, shelter, paddle or ambulate in the wild with some degree of comfort. So, I tracked down my REI member number which required a phone call to the Seattle area. My number from the '70's was still valid, and boxes of REI gear have been arriving on my doorstep ever since. I'll soon be outfitted like a K2 summiteer, but with a prominent middle-aged spread. As a friend of mine likes to say, "I once had the chiseled look of a Greek god, but then my metabolism went north, my appetite went south, and things just sort of spun out of control."

Priesthood Tent & Glitter Toes

Our ward held Girl's Camp at Yuba Lake this year and I went along as one of the male leaders. LDS practice requires two Melchizedek Priesthood holders to be on-site at Girl's Camp in case someone needs a priesthood blessing. A wonderful High Priest whom the girls affectionately called "Grandpa" slept in his RV. That left me alone in the "priesthood tent" pitched a short distance from the rest of the camp. This arrangement gave all of us a modicum of privacy while enabling me to spend several days of quality time with the young women and their leaders. Girl's Camp is typically a delightful blend of outdoor activities, crafts, socializing, singing, theatrics, leadership skills training and spirituality. Highlights generally include skits around the campfire and a powerful testimony meeting. I have been a priesthood holder at Girl's Camp in prior years, and the young women leaders in our ward have enough footage of goofy antics around campfires to effectively blackmail me should I ever run for public office. A first for me this time, though, was having my toenails painted with glitter polish. At the first business meeting I attended after Girl's Camp, I took off one of my shoes & socks and showed some colleagues my glitter toes. Everyone in the room roared with laughter. My wife, on the other hand, was not so enthused. After a few days she finally convinced me to remove the nail polish. After all, I would be going on a river trip with the Priests soon, and it just wouldn't send the right signal to my young charges aspiring to manhood for the Bishop to show up with glitter toes.

Sacrament at Sea

One of my duties as a Bishop is to preside over the ordinance of the sacrament each Sabbath day. If a senior priesthood leader is present (usually a member of the Stake Presidency), then he will preside but I will still be responsible for making sure the Priests in our congregation say the sacramental prayers correctly. I am also able to authorize the preparation, blessing and passing of the sacrament in settings other than sacrament meeting in our local ward meetinghouse.
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On Sunday, July 17, 2011 I was aboard the Celebrity Millennium cruising Alaska's Inland Passage just north of Ketchikan. We were a large family group - 35 people from my wife's family, and we held sacrament meeting in one of the ship's conference rooms. Ours was the only Christian service held on board that day, and we had Baptist, Catholic & Episcopalian couples join us. The ship's concierge provided us with bread, a paper plate, a bottle of red wine, and about 50 small paper cups. We brought up a silver platter & a pitcher of water from one of the staterooms. I presided over and conducted the service, explaining to our friends of other faiths that I was a  Latter-day Saint Bishop and the service would be performed in the LDS manner. My wife led us in a hymn and then one of my sisters-in-law gave the invocation. The sacramental bread was broken & blessed by one of my sons & one of my wife's nephews, both Elders, as we had no Priests in our group. I nodded approval when the blessing was pronounced correctly, just as I do at home in the American Fork 29th Ward. The bread was passed by the oldest son of one of my wife's nieces, a Deacon. All of the priesthood brethren looked sharp in suits & ties.

In the LDS Church, we use water rather than wine to represent the Savior's blood which was shed for us. In a typical congregation, we have special sacramental trays that hold not only the small cups of water, but also the used, empty cups. It didn't seem dignified to have people partake of the emblem of the Lord's atonement from a silver platter, then return their used, empty cup to the same platter, so we had one of the Elders follow the Deacon with a paper plate. People took their sacramental cup filled with water from the Deacon's silver platter and then put their empty cup on the Elder's paper plate.

After the sacrament, one of my wife's nephews gave an excellent talk about the beauty of God's creation and our role as stewards. One of my wife's nieces then led us in the wonderful hymn, How Great Thou Art, which we thought would be familiar to everyone present. Fortunately, my wife knew the words to all four verses, since no one had brought a hymnal and this particular song is not included (copyright restrictions) in the electronic LDS library that most older family members carry on their smart phones. I then gave a talk focused on John 16:33 "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" which was followed by a brief testimony from the husband of one of my wife's nieces, then a closing hymn and a benediction given by one of my brothers-in-law. The whole service lasted about 45 minutes, after which we visited with our Catholic & Episcopalian friends. I have no idea what happened to the unopened bottle of wine we left in the conference room, but it was not there when we returned to the same room a day later for family home evening.

The professions of the adults who performed some part of our Sunday service:

• businessman
• engineer (2)
• attorney (2)
• stay-at-home mom (2)
• teacher
• physician
• professor

Spiritual Impressions

Just before Christmas, 2010, while serving as Bishop of the BYU 172nd (Married Student) Ward, I received an impression from the Holy Ghost that a young couple in our ward should begin serving in the Provo Temple. I called them in for an interview, and they seemed genuinely excited about the possibility. The husband indicated that he had recently felt promptings that they should spend more time in the Temple. I filled out the necessary paperwork and sent it on to the Stake President for his approval. A few weeks later this couple received a calling at the Temple and began serving.

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I saw this couple earlier this evening at a reunion party we held for former members of the BYU 172nd Ward. The wife was radiant, about five months along in her first pregnancy, and her husband was beaming. It was at the party, beside our former High Councilor's swimming pool, that they shared with me the rest of the story. 

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They had been trying to get pregnant for more than two years. They had even gone the fertility clinic route, but to no avail. When a member of the Temple Presidency set this sister apart to her new calling in the Temple, he gave her not one but two blessings. The first blessing pertained to her general physical health. He then told her that he felt prompted to give her a second blessing specifically regarding her desire to have children. A couple of weeks after being set apart to her new calling, she became pregnant.

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"The sweetest experience in mortality is to know that our Heavenly Father has worked through us." To the Rescue, The Biography of Thomas S. Monson

Another Son of God

About 50 minutes ago, our daughter-in-law gave birth to a healthy son in Boston. Mommy & baby are both doing well. He is our fifth grandchild and second grandson.
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"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them."
Psalms 127:3-5
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My father celebrated his 82nd birthday in June. He and mother now have well over 100 living descendants when you count spouses. I am the oldest of 12, each of whom is married with children, and about a dozen of those children are now married. My youngest sister was born while I was serving my first mission in Peru. Dad & mom anchor a monthly family newsletter we call the Magleby Monitor that has been in continuous publication for nearly a quarter century. The most recent issue featured 1 marriage, 3 births, & 1 engagement. Hardly a day goes by that my parents don't receive some exciting news from somewhere around this great big family of theirs. At 82, health challenges mounting, my dad is a happy man with a full and growing quiver.

All of the Children

The Mormon ideal is to marry in the Temple so all of your children are born in the covenant, then to have all of your children in turn marry in the Temple so all of your grandchildren are also born in the covenant. It is a red letter day in an LDS family when the parents with all of their children are present in the Temple for the first time.
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That happened for us on June 10, 2011 in a sealing room in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple where our youngest daughter and her husband were married (or "sealed" in LDS parlance). The groom's father and I were the witnesses to the sealing. As I looked over the 40 or so people present in the room and realized that all of our natural children were present in the Temple for the first time, I was overcome with emotion and I began to cry like a baby. We had dreamed of this day, prayed for it, worked for it, and now it was here. Families become eternal in the Temple and we were all present and accounted for. Our married children had their spouses with them except for our oldest daughter whose husband, a Captain in the Texas National Guard, was on summer drill.
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The Temple endowment ceremony mentions three sources of joy - serving in the Lord's House, measuring up to your potential, and raising up a righteous posterity. My tears that day were tears of joy.

The Will of the Father

As a Bishop, one of my principal functions is to receive divine guidance so I can counsel ward members in ways that will bless their lives. A ward member asked me for a Priesthood blessing. I spent July 4th, 2011 showing one of my employees from Puebla, Mexico the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. All the way down Highway 89 on Sunday evening, I thought about this petitioning member and their situation. I needed to know the Father's will for this person so I could bless them appropriately. A little after midnight, I was on my knees beside my bed in Room 5 of the Sun N Sand Motel in Kanab, Utah. As I was praying, a voice said to my mind, "You will receive your answer in the Temple." That was good enough for me, and I slept peacefully.
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After returning home late Monday evening, I checked the Mt. Timpanogos Temple schedule on the Internet and asked my wife if she would accompany me to the Temple the following morning. We got up early on Tuesday and joined the 6:00 a.m. session. I was fasting. As we waited in the Chapel, I asked the Father to reveal His will to me regarding the ward member who wanted a blessing, but no communication was forthcoming. The same thing happened throughout the session, and again as my wife and I participated in the prayer circle.
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When we got into the Celestial Room, we sat on a sofa and I meditated. Within a few minutes, the answer came to me, as clear as a bell. I had been hesitant and tentative up until that point, but as soon as the personal revelation was received, I pressed my wife's hand and we strode out of the room brimming with confidence.

First 15 Days

From Sunday, June 19, 2011 to Sunday, July 3, 2011 I spent about 55 hours engaged in the work of the Lord. Between interviews, letters, emails, phone calls, authoring a ward newsletter article, debriefings, meetings, worship services, prayers, baptisms, home visits and just getting things organized, I had something substantive to do every day of the week for 15 straight days. My commentary in our family's monthly newsletter: "The hours are long, but the rewards are sweet."

The Mormon Male Ideal

Mormonism is a culture of high expectations. Like the fabled Jewish mother (Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child, after all I've done?) we hold our young men to a high standard. After 57 years in the culture, this is my take on the Mormon Ideal for Males:

Newborn to Age 7

• Born in the covenant. This means your natural parents were married (sealed) in the Temple.
• Named and blessed by your father as an infant.
• Learned to pray as a toddler at your mother's knee.
• Paid tithing (10%) on allowance & birthday money.
• Attended family home evening on Monday nights.
• Participated in family scripture study around the dinner table.
• Took your turn offering the blessing on the food at meal times.
• Began being voice for family prayer soon after you learned how to talk.
• Shielded from vulgarity by your family members.
• Sang Primary songs in your home.
• Attended Nursery at 18 months.
• Attended Primary at age 3.
• Participated in Primary activity days.
• Went on father's and son's outings, typically an overnight camp out.
• Helped clean the Church.
• Bore your testimony at the pulpit on Fast Sunday.
• Gave talks in Primary.
• Participated in the annual Primary Program in Sacrament Meeting.
• Witnessed baptisms of older siblings, cousins, family friends, etc.
• Began a mission savings account.

Age 8

• Got baptized by immersion by your father or older brother.
• Got confirmed a member of the Church by your father.
• Received the gift of the Holy Ghost.
• Began feeling the Spirit.
• Joined Cub Scouts.
• Earned Bobcat badge.
• Wore your first scout uniform.
• Received your own personalized copies of the scriptures.
• Attended den meetings & pack meetings.
• Built your first pinewood derby with lots of help from your father.
• Began to fast for 24 hours (2 meals) on Fast Sunday.
• Began paying fast offerings in addition to tithing.
• Graduated from Junior to Senior Primary.
• Began memorizing the Articles of Faith.

Ages 9 - 11

• Attended scout day camp.
• Earned Bear & Wolf badges.
• Earned lots of Cub Scout belt loops.
• Joined New Scouts.
• Memorized the 13 Articles of Faith.
• Began earning merit badges.
• Earned Tenderfoot, Second Class & First Class badges.

Age 12

• Graduated from Primary.
• Joined Young Men.
• Began giving youth talks in Sacrament Meeting.
• Received the Aaronic Priesthood.
• Ordained to the office of Deacon.
• Passed the Sacrament.
• Began collecting fast offerings.
• Earned Star badge.
• Began working on Duty to God award.
• Attended overnight scout camps.
• Began doing baptisms for the dead in the Temple.

Age 13

• Earned Life badge.

Ages 14 - 15

• Ordained to the office of Teacher.
• Prepared the Sacrament.
• Went home teaching as the junior companion to your father.
• Earned Eagle Scout award.
• Began attending Seminary.

Ages 16 - 18

• Ordained to the office of Priest.
• Blessed the Sacrament.
• Baptized someone.
• Built up mission savings account.
• Earned Duty to God award.
• Went on group dates.
• Began attending mission preparation.
• Remained morally pure.
• Submitted mission papers.
• Received mission call.
• Received the Melchizedek Priesthood.
• Ordained to the office of Elder.
• Went through the Temple for the first time.
• Began wearing garments.
• Completed one year of higher education.

 Age 19

• Was set apart as a full-time missionary.
• Entered the MTC (Missionary Training Center).
• Began serving in one of the 340+ missions around the world as a junior companion.

Age 20

• Served a faithful mission.
• Became a senior companion and trainer.
• Called as a district leader, zone leader, or assistant to the president

Age 21

• Returned with honor from the mission field.
• Began dating individual girls.
• Returned to college.
• Attended institute if not at BYU Provo, BYU Idaho, or BYU Hawaii.
• Spoke in Sacrament Meeting(s) as a returned missionary companion to a High Councilor.

Age 22 - 24

• Got married in the Temple.
• Graduated from college.
• Entered graduate school or the workforce.

Ages 25 - 39

• Stayed married.
• Had children.
• Purchased a home.
• Became economically self-sufficient.
• Established righteous routines & holy habits personally and with your family.
• Scripture study
• Prayer
• Family Home Evening
• Church attendance
• Temple attendance
• Home teaching
• Advanced in your career.
• Continued serving faithfully in the Church.
• Raised a righteous family.

Ages 40 - 60

• Ordained to the office of High Priest.
• Witnessed your children serving missions, marrying in the Temple.
• Had grand-children.
• Began to be serious about family history.
• Retired from the workforce.

Ages 61+

• Served one or more senior missions with your wife.
• Performed lots of Temple work.
• Presided over a growing, righteous posterity.
• Endured to the end.

Food Orders

One of my jobs as a Bishop is to help the poor and the needy. One of the ways I do that is by authorizing food orders which are filled at the Bishop's Storehouse in Lindon, a few miles south of American Fork. The process goes like this:

• I become aware of a serious need through personal observation, reports that reach me from other ward members, or a person visiting me in my office.
• I fill out a Needs & Resources Analysis: Self Reliance Plan for the person or family in need.
• I authorize a 2 week food order and communicate that approval to the Relief Society President.
• She visits the individual or family in their home, helps them prepare a meal plan, and notes the items & quantities they need to feed themselves for 2 weeks. 
• She then signs the food order and returns it to me for my counter signature.
• I file a copy of the food order in my office. 
• Another copy of the authorized food order is given to the person or family in need.
• They take the order to the Lindon Bishop's Storehouse and return with a 2 week supply of food.
• A few days later, I get a report in the mail from the Storehouse with the food order attached. This report shows me the dollar value of the food or other commodities that were distributed.
• The recipients perform some previously agreed-upon service in exchange for the help they just received.

A few items of interest about the LDS Church Welfare Program and Bishop's Storehouses in particular:

• The welfare program began in 1936 in response to the great depression. 2011 marks its 75th anniversary.
• The Church maintains dozens of food production and food processing facilities around the world that supply the system. For example, adjacent to the Lindon Bishop's Storehouse is a cannery that supplies canned peaches and pears to the welfare program. My family and I have volunteered many times at the cannery. Our oldest daughter met her future husband volunteering on the night shift at the Church's peanut butter plant in Houston.
• The Church maintains more than 100 Bishop's Storehouses throughout the US and Canada.
• The Church supplies commodities to many food banks and soup kitchens through the Bishop's Storehouse network. In Houston, for example, Deseret brand peanut butter is a hot commodity with the Houston Food Bank. 
• No money every changes hands when a patron receives a food order. The Bishop's Storehouse is a grocery store without cash registers. 
• The number of SKU's (inventory line items) in a Bishop's Storehouse is limited to a few hundred. Items produced by the Church (such as canned peaches and peanut butter) carry the Deseret label. Other items (such as disposable diapers) are the same national brands one would find in a traditional super market.
• Several hundred food orders are filled each day at a typical Bishop's Storehouse.
• Bishops and Relief Society Presidents are advised to provide enough help to sustain life, but not lifestyle.

Abuses such as feeding animals or selling the food do occur, but they are minimal. In general, the Bishop's Storehouse food order system is a terrific program that helps many people make it through tough times with their self-respect intact.

Behind Every Door

On Tuesday, June 21, 2011, I spent 3 hours with the previous Bishop of the American Fork 29th Ward going through the ward list, talking about every person. We got through the H's. On Sunday, June 26, 2011, we spent another 3 hours and got part way through the S's. Tonight we spent 2 more hours together and we finished the list. It took us 8 hours of debriefing for him to share insights gleaned from 6 years of working with the 563 members of our ward. A Mormon Bishop is a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a confessor, a cheer leader, a coach, a judge, a diplomat, a CEO and a motivational speaker in addition to an ecclesiastical leader, preacher, pastor, youth minister and minister. I now know many intimate, confidential details about people that I will take to my grave. At one point in our discussion, this beloved former Bishop turned to me and said, "You know, there are issues behind every door." Shakespeare called the vicissitudes of this life "the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." Hamlet Act 3 Scene 1. Only the Savior Jesus Christ achieved perfection in mortality. None of us escape trials. "In the world ye shall have tribulation." John 16:33. The secret is to find "joy in the journey." Thomas S. Monson, October 2008 General Conference. "Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:.33.
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When I got home tonight, my wife asked me how my evening had gone. "It was a very good evening," I replied as I swept her off her feet and gave her a big hug and a kiss.

Kodiak

Wednesday, June 22, through Saturday, June 25, 2011, I spent with about 60 other people on a Kodiak course in and around Star Valley, Wyoming. Kodiak, as implemented in the American Fork East Stake, is a leadership training experience for young men aged 16 - 19 where mission prep meets high adventure. As the new Bishop of the American Fork 29th Ward, I accompanied our Young Men's President, one of our returned missionaries, and nine of our Priests as we rappelled down a 40 foot cliff, smashed foodstuffs from gallons of milk to watermelons with a giant mallet, lit fireworks that are highly illegal in Utah, toured the Aviat airplane manufacturing plant (home of the Husky), played war games, shot off homemade 2 liter bottle rockets (longest hang time 10.7 seconds), ran a length of the cold Snake River below Jackson (22,500 cubic feet per second, largest rapids - Lunch Counter - class 4), and performed a number of service projects around the ranch where we stayed. We arose at 6:30 a.m. and bedded down about midnight. Country Cooking catered the hearty chuck wagon-style food. 4 motor homes and a handful of pickup trucks transported everyone and everything. Presentations were in an old barn with a gravel floor.
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Themes included "armoring up" via personal scripture study and prayer a la Ephesians 6:11-17, feeling and being guided by the spirit, mentors and mentoring, and getting along with difficult missionary companions. Most of the young men had significant spiritual experiences. Tears flowed freely. Testimony meeting the final night was a highlight. Days were peppered with literally dozens of thoughts and prayers. When an officer with
the Utah National Guard slammed a 4 foot sword against the chest of a young man wearing "battle rattle" body armor used in Afghanistan, every head was forward and every eye was focused.
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My extemporaneous presentation was an exegesis of 3 Nephi 18:20, Mormon 9:21, and Moroni 7:26 - whatever we ask the Father in the name of Jesus Christ will be granted as long as it is a righteous desire and we ask in faith. I illustrated this promise with four examples:

• Soon after I arrived in Lince (Lima) Peru as a 19-year-old missionary, I was overcome with homesickness. The sights were foreign, the smells nauseating. The food was strange and my stomach felt like an erupting volcano. The sounds were raucous and difficult to understand. I sweated profusely day and night. I did not think I could endure 22 months (In those days one spent the first 2 months of his 2 year mission in the LTM - Language Training Mission) of this disturbing exotica. So, as I said my evening prayers one night, I asked the Father in the name of Jesus Christ to calm my troubled soul. As I climbed into the top bunk, I was shown a vision that spoke peace and banished my anxieties in an instant. I saw my family gathered at the Salt Lake Airport, welcoming me home from my mission. Now knowing the end from the beginning, I embraced mission work with a passion and quickly learned to love Peru and Peruvians. Parenthetically, when I did return home at the end of my mission, the reunion in the Salt Lake Airport was precisely as I had seen it in vision almost 2 years before. 
• Many years later, I went to the airport to head out on a business trip. Those were the days of paper airline tickets, and I carelessly left my tickets on the dashboard of the car driven by my oldest son. I soon discovered my missing tickets as I waited in line to check in. I didn't have the  means to purchase new tickets, so I turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer. "Father, I ask thee in the name of Jesus Christ, to inspire my son to see my tickets on the dashboard, stop and turn the car around right now, return to the airport, and bring me my tickets." About 15 minutes later, when I was just seconds away from my turn at the check in counter, my son appeared and handed me my tickets. "You forgot these, Dad."
• The Young Men's President in my ward is an astronomer at BYU. A few years ago, he and his wife made a list of things they really wanted to accomplish. She wrote down that she wanted to spend one February on a tropical island. Later that year, my friend was offered a chance to run an evening astronomy program for the guests at a resort on Saipan in the Northern Marianas. The whole family spent the next February on a tropical island.
• On April 2, 2011, while my wife and I were watching the last session of General Conference, I got a distress call from a young wife and mother in my BYU ward. Her husband had just taken the car and stormed out of the house in an angry hail of threatening words. I got the impression that she needed to come to our home and spend some time with my wife, so I raced to Provo, gassed up the old pickup truck that was their second vehicle, and led her to our house in American Fork. I left her visiting with my wife while I attended the Priesthood Session. Upon my return, I called her husband on his cell phone. He said he was in Saint George headed for California, and every mile he got further away from Provo the better he felt. He had made up his mind to file for divorce. He said he would not contest anything - she could have the house, the car, the bank accounts, custody, etc. I told him as his Bishop to pull over to the side of the road right then and pray - I would be praying at the same time. My wife, the distraught young sister and I knelt beside our kitchen table and I offered a prayer. "Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ I ask thee to send thy spirit to Saint George right now and soften the heart of this sister's husband so he will return to her and love her." Less than a minute after I said "Amen" her cell phone rang. It was her husband. My wife and I tended their baby for the next two hours while they talked. She finally went home to Provo when her cell phone battery died. By about 1:30 a.m. her husband returned, a changed man, and this story has a happy ending.   

Hands on my Head

On June 19, 2011, immediately following Sacrament Meeting in the chapel, those of us in the newly-called Bishopric and our families congregated on the cultural hall stage to be set apart. I sat on a metal folding chair surrounded by 8 Melchizedek Priesthood holders, one of whom was my 82-year-old father, an emeritus Patriarch who in his prime gave hundreds of blessings in the American Fork East Stake. Each brother placed his right hand on my head and his left hand on the shoulder of the man to his left. The Stake President performed the actual setting apart, conferring on me the priesthood keys necessary to perform as a Bishop, and blessing me with the gift of discernment. I was authorized as the President of the Aaronic Priesthood, the Presiding High Priest, and the Common Judge in Israel in the American Fork 29th Ward. I was further blessed with prosperity in my personal life and the wisdom necessary to delegate everything except those things that only a Bishop can handle. Basically, the counselors, clerks and secretaries who serve with me in this Bishopric will administer most aspects of the programs of the Church, freeing me to minister to individual ward members. After the ordinance, I shook hands with each of the 8 brethren who had participated and then embraced President Ivins, tears streaming down my face.
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I have had hands placed on my head before:
My father gave me a name and a blessing as an infant.
I was confirmed a member of the Church and given the gift of the Holy Ghost at age 8.
The Aaronic Priesthood was conferred upon me and I was ordained a Deacon at age 12.
I was ordained a Teacher at age 14, and a Priest at age 16.
The Melchizedek Priesthood was conferred upon me and I was ordained an Elder at age 18.
I was set apart as a full-time missionary at age 19.
I was ordained a High Priest in my early 40's and a Bishop just over a year ago.
In addition, I have been set apart to many callings in the Church over the years as my wife, our children and I have lived in wards in Utah, Massachusetts, Georgia, and Maryland.
My Dad has given me a number of powerful and prophetic father's blessings at key junctures in my life, and I have received a couple of health blessings following anointment with consecrated (extra virgin olive) oil.
In addition, I have been the living proxy for hundreds, maybe even thousands of Temple ordinances performed on behalf of deceased persons.
Occasionally when Priesthood brethren have placed their hands on my head, the experience has seemed rather pedestrian. Most of the time, though, the event has been accentuated with a certain spiritual sublimity.

A Rushing Wind

On the Day of Pentecost, one of the ways the Holy Ghost witnessed to the Apostles was "a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind." Acts 2:2. On March 27, 1836 at the dedication of the Kirtland Temple, Joseph Smith, Jr., Oliver Cowdery, and George A. Smith all reported a mighty rushing wind among other remarkable spiritual outpourings. Joseph Smith, History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints edited by B.H. Roberts (Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 1932-1951), 2:428. Leonard J. Arrington, "Oliver Cowdery's Kirtland Ohio 'Sketch Book,'" BYU Studies, Volume 12:4, (Summer 1972), 426. Journal of Discourses, 26 vols. (London: Latter-day Saints Book Depot, 1854-1886), 11:10. On June 1, 1978 in the fourth floor council room of the Salt Lake Temple, President Spencer W. Kimball received the revelation extending the priesthood to all worthy males. President Kimball's counselors and ten of the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles were in the room at the time. Many later described the event as a spiritual outpouring more intense than anything they had previously experienced. Elder L. Tom Perry said he "felt something like the rushing of wind." Edward L. Kimball, "Spencer W. Kimball and the Revelation on Priesthood," BYU Studies, Volume 47:2 (2008), 57.
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On Sunday, June 19, 2011 in the American Fork 29th Ward Sacrament Meeting, I was sustained as the new Bishop of the Ward. As I arose when the Stake President called my name, a powerful spiritual wave flowed over me like a rushing wind. I heard a whooshing sound and felt air on my face. The spiritual feeling coursing through me was so intense that I lost my composure and began to weep. I had to dry my eyes more than once as I walked up to take my place on the stand. I have been blessed over the years with a number of significant spiritual wtinesses, but I had never before experienced this particular manifestation of the Holy Ghost.

Yesterday I was set apart as a Bishop

On June 19, 2011 (Father's Day), President Mark Ivins of the American Fork East Stake set me apart as Bishop of the American Fork 29th Ward. I was ordained a Bishop on June 13, 2010 by President Steven Owen of the BYU 8th (Married Student) Stake, and I served for 11 months as Bishop of the BYU 172nd Ward. When the BYU 8th Stake became the Springville YSA Stake on May 1, 2011, the married students I had presided over went into 11 different family wards in south Provo and my wife, Shannon & I went back to our home ward in American Fork. For 7 weeks I held no formal Church calling. Now I am back in the traces and a new adventure has begun. The fact that 28,424 of us around the world (2011 Church Almanac citing data as of 1 January, 2010) are willing to do this job for no monetary compensation surely ranks as one of the strongest testimonies of the truthfulness of the restored Church in this dispensation.